it's a full-moon. everybody howl

today has been a day of frustrations. for my family, for my kids, for my co-coworkers. 

this morning, i tried to get back into the habit of studying my bible, but my heart was on lock-down or something and it wouldn't let anything in...or out. i had to honestly say "ok, this is how it's gonna be. let's roll" 

and roll i did, all the way to work, partially having a heart attack eat time i looked at my gas meter. it has the habit of lying and saying i have absolutely no gas, when i do in fact have either a 1/4 or 1/2 tank. it's annoying as anything. 

but i get there, set everything up and my kids start trickling in. and of course, there's that one student that comes in right off the bus, saying "no body likes me. it makes me really upset. and it's not gonna change at all." they have been saying this for about a week now. and no matter how many times i, other staff personnel, and their classmates tell them, they still have a "woe is me" attitude. any sane person can only stand so much of that. with a hope and a prayer, i keep on rolling.

side note #1 ..i should clarify that when i say "my kids" i don't actually have any children of my own. it's all of the students that attend the school at which i work. i consider them my kids. maybe in the far away future i'll have my own. but not now. 

on to student #2. i have NO idea in the world about what ticked off this student but they went roaring down the hall way - well, more like screaming - to "GET OUT OF MY WAY. GET OUT! I DON'T WANT TO GO IN THAT ROOM. MOVE PEOPLE!!!" and this went on for about a good hour or so. they were so loud that other students were scared to leave their classroom. and if you heard student #2 coming - because you ALWAYS heard them before you saw them - you needed to find a cubbyhole or hallway outlet to hide. because that kid could have swung a fist easily. i actually had to do that with a student of mine. 

side note #2. i work with a school for special needs students, so when they flip out, they flip out and if it escalates, that's a call to the police and the hospital. there was actually a case last week where that happened. a student ended up busting the glass out of a small window... but since we have retired football players, maybe defensive linemen or something, as behavioral support, it's all good. welcome to my world

the rest of the school day is somewhat successful, and i got to head home. YAY! as soon as i get home, i binge eat the fresh watermelon that's in the fridge and promptly collapse into a food coma. sleep is good and all, but i should have waited until bed time. but them, a few more things happen. my mother received word back about how her new cancer meds are working for her. and it wasn't what she wanted to hear. rather than going down, her cancer numbers had done the opposite. it wasn't a drastic amount, only a single digit but she still was stressing about it. and then to make herself feel better, she decides to read research and reviews about how the medication worked for other cancer patients. there's no better way to make yourself feel better than by comparing your station in life to other people's right? well, that back fired and it made her more depressed then before. and at times like this, i can reassure her that God's in control and he knows what's up and blah blah blah, but you can only say that so many times before it loses it's BOOM. so then i did try to look at it realistically, saying that it was only in the single digits and that over all her numbers were still low and that this is how the docter said it would react yada yada yada. again, that only helps so much.

and then last but not least, my sister decides to install a roller shade in her room, because she's sick and tired of a mini-blind that she has. plus, it's the same one she's had since she was 6. that's 20 years people. the only thing is this: she.can't.use.power tools. despite the fact that she works for a company that specifically install blinds and she has to hang them in her window. she just doesn't have the knowledge on how to use them. oh, and i do? yes, because i asked my dad to teach me because i want to be as independent as possible. again, BAM WHAT (yes, that is from a Disney channel TV show). well, she tries to drill a hole and can't. because 

1) she's using a screw head to drill a hole, because she can't find the drill heads and

2) there appears to be a metal pole in her way. 

this just makes her more ticked off. add to that, the measurements weren't working properly. and in the process of moving the screws around, she had completely sheered off the philips head cut on the screw, but she had lost more screws in the process. i can hear you asking, "well, why didn't you help her?" honestly? because i didn't want to; i was sleeping; and she needs to learn stuff like this, especially since she's an interior designer by trade and she WILL need such tools in the future. she did eventually get them up. she just needed another hand. and i'm pretty sure anyone would be frustrated with hanging a roller shade if you did it for more than an hour.

oi vey. today was a challenge to say the least. isn't it a good thing that i don't/shouldn't/need to rely on my own strength, patience, kindness/goodness to get through the day? despite the fact that i have been called a saint, i most certainly am not. 

you know how teachers say when it's a full-moon, the kids go crazy? i TOTALLY believe it now.